


the shape of affection

by magichistorian



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Flowers, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, a3rarepairs2020, expressions of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:13:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25256722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magichistorian/pseuds/magichistorian
Summary: "When they had first met, Tsumugi had been something of an anomaly, to tell the truth.“Please get a sense of me on stage”, was what he had said.Guy still didn't understand, really. What could he show on stage that he couldn't say with words?Why did he care so much anyway? Why was Tsumugi so special?"--Or: Planting flowers, and understanding how to feel love.
Relationships: Guy/Tsukioka Tsumugi
Comments: 16
Kudos: 39
Collections: A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020





	the shape of affection

**Author's Note:**

> DAY 1: Adoration
> 
> I was a little over-ambitious with my ideas and didn't get any of my fics prewritten so i wrote this all today :(
> 
> I didn't flesh this out as much as I wanted, but at least it's on time (at least, it is where I live!)

“Tsumugi?” Guy asks one day. They’re in the middle of a lesson - Tsumugi has so kindly offered to tutor him in writing advanced kanji, since he never learned it after leaving Japan as a child.

Tsumugi looks up, eyes curious, silently giving Guy his attention. 

“I apologize for the, er, randomness, of my question, but after our lesson, would you join me in the gardens? I have been interested in planting a larger variety of flowers, but I am not entirely sure what I should choose. I was hoping your expertise might offer me some suggestions.”

Tsumugi smiles, bright and soft. “I would be glad to. We are just about finished with what I wanted to show you today, after all. You are an impressively fast learner.”

“Ah, thank you.” The praise is quite heartening, though he notices rather than the compliment itself, it is the fact that Tsumugi is the one complimenting him that pleases him the most. 

As Tsumugi said, it takes them no time at all to finish.

\--   
  
  


“You’re right,” Tsumugi agrees as they stand out in the garden. “We need some more color over there, there and there.” He points out each of the spots with his finger. 

Guy nods in agreement. “I was thinking something yellow would be nice. Narcissus, perhaps?”

“That’s specific, don't you think?” Tsumugi says with a coy smile.

“It . . . ”  _ Makes me think of you.  _ “It’s pretty, and hardy as well. A good choice for early spring.”

Tsumugi hums an agreement, before looking up to squint at the fading afternoon sun. “It’s getting late. How about I pick up some bulbs while I’m out tomorrow? We can plant them once I get back.”

“Sounds delightful,” Guy says with a small smile. 

If he isn't mistaken, Tsumugi’s face turns a few shades pinker. How odd. Except, when Tsumugi smiles back, saying, “It’ll be fun, just you and I,” Guy can swear his cheeks grow warm as well. 

When he returns to his room -which is empty, Azuma must be out drinking- and gets into bed, he’s suddenly unable to sleep. That’s rather unusual for him; as much as he has adjusted to being a human, the ability to sleep on command hasn’t left him. 

Staring listlessly at the ceiling, he’s surprisingly bombarded with thoughts of Tsumugi. 

They’ve spent a great deal of time together as of late, between working the garden and his kanji tutoring lessons.

When they had first met, Tsumugi had been something of an anomaly, to tell the truth. 

_ “Please get a sense of me on stage”,  _ was what he had said. 

Guy still didn't understand, really. What could he show on stage that he couldn't say with words?

Why did he care so much anyway? Why was Tsumugi so special?

He groaned. What would he do if he were an android? He would solve it through numbers, through facts and trends. 

_ What is the shape of this problem? How many minutes will form an answer? What is the formula of interaction?  _

  
  
  


_ Why can’t you understand your own feelings? _

Ah. It's no good. Logic doesn't exist in the world of human emotions, does it? 

He rubs his palms against his eyes. He’s getting nowhere.

Eventually he falls asleep.

  
  


\--

  
  


“Something is bothering you,” Tsumugi says, as they plant the bucketful of narcissus bulbs. It isn't a question. 

Guy wants to deny it, because as he has discovered, voicing his feelings is oddly difficult. But Tsumugi is nothing if not tenacious and wouldn't drawing it out be more miserable in the end?

He focuses on digging a neat hole for the narcissus waiting next to him as he speaks. He has found occupying his hands with something repetitive and simple to be comforting and grounding. 

“I have . . . been presented with unfamiliar feelings,” He says. He isn't sure if what he is trying to say makes sense. “And I spent a very long time believing I was incapable of having such feelings.”

He doesn't know where he is trying to go with this, but Tsumugi nods in understanding. 

“And I suppose you don't really understand how you feel, or how to express those feelings to the object of your affections.”

Guy nearly drops his spade at Tsumugi’s last words. “Affections?” His voice wavers. 

“I have a degree in Psychology, you know. I cannot read minds, but I can tell what is on yours. If you cannot express your feelings in one way, why not find another way?”

“What does that mean?”

“What makes you happy? How can you share that happiness with others? Everybody shares their love with others in different ways,” Tsumugi explains. “Misumi loves through his triangles. Omi loves through mothering others. And I . . . ”

He turns away, but his blush remains visible. 

“I express my love through acting.”

  
  


Oh. Guy understands. That’s why Tsumugi told him only to watch him act, because his love came through most purely by acting and standing on stage. That was appropriate for somebody like him, wasn't it? Tsumugi loved everybody, offered strangers and friends alike all of his heart. What better way than to show it on stage?

Maybe that was what Guy liked so much about him. 

  
  


“You just have to decide how you want to share your love with others.”

“But I don't-”

“Do be so rushed. Love is a very hard thing to understand. Give it time.”

Guy stares down at the bulb in his hands. He doesn't know how to respond.

  
  


“What do you want, Guy?” Tsumugi asks, suddenly. 

He says, easily, “I have never wanted anything.” It is almost instinctual.

But that isn't true is it? He opens his mouth. Why is speaking so difficult? Why, when it is only the truth?

“Saying painful things is always hard,” Tsumugi says.

Guy digs another hole, plants another bulb.

“I . . . have never . . . been allowed to want anything.” There it is. Just a little more . . . “And now I don’t know how to want things.”

Tsumugi is silent for a moment. A strange, child-like part of Guy wonders if he is mourning the childhood Guy has lost. 

“Now you can want anything. Anything at all. Knowing that, what do you want?”

Guy thinks. Thinks about things that make him happy. Things he doesn’t have. Things he has, and wants to keep forever. 

“I want to continue acting with you all. I want MANKAI to succeed. And I want you. In my life.” 

“Me?” That catches Tsumugi off-guard. 

“Does that surprise you?” 

“I suppose not. After all, we have to raise this garden to bloom together, don’t we?” He holds up a bulb. Poking out the top is a small sprout of green. 

“That’s a long time,” Guy says.

“It is plenty of time,” Tsumugi corrects. ‘Flowers take time to grow. We should give ourselves the same amount of time and patience. You will come to understand yourself in time, I have no doubts.”

He gestures to the bulbs, all of which have managed to be planted. “You have a good taste for flowers, Guy-san. Just like these flowers, you and I will be born anew as new people every season. I hope you and I this spring can grow and bloom together.”

Guy only nods, too struck with affection to say anything. 

Tsumugi picks up the empty watering can and gets up to fill it. Before he leaves, he crouches down and delicately pecks Guy on the cheek. 

Almost certain he is blushing wildly, Guy watches Tsumugi sprint away to the sink.

_ I could have never wished for anything better than you, Tsumugi Tsukioka. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! :D
> 
> If you didn't know, the narcissus flower is Tsumugi's character flower, and represents rebirth and the coming of spring. 
> 
> If you liked this, please consider commenting, they make my day!
> 
> [My Twitter!](https://twitter.com/emilfish3)


End file.
